Why do they make shoes so confusing?

So I needed a new pair of kicks. My plans for tomorrow consist of me going out with my buddy Kate-o to buy me a suit (we'll see how that adventure goes in a later post). So Mom informs me that if i'm trying on a new suit i need to get a pair of nice looking shoes to go with it, and wear them when trying on the suits so i know how far down the pant legs need to go. It makes sense to me, so i walk over to the nearest shopping center and go into Famous Footwear to find a nice pair of shoes, the 3rd pair i try on fit really well, so i send a pic to mom to see if they meet her approval (cause if mom isn't happy then nobody's happy).

While i'm wandering around the shoe store, waiting for Ma to text me back, i wander over to the chucks and start perusing the styles. i found a pair of high-tops with a Sailor Jerry pin up on the side, which i thought was smoking hot, but they didn''t have any in my size. Next up was a pair of black and grey double Chucks. They looked sweet. They were kinda like two pairs of Chucks sewn together, a grey pair sewn over top of a classic black pair. When i tried them on, only the inside set of eyelets were laced up, it was enough to to tell that they fit me well, and a saw that there was a set of black laces to do the outside set of eyelets with, so i stick 'em on top the other shoes and charge them to Mom's credit card (i figured if it was her idea to buy shoes, she should also pay for them too, you know so she can have the whole experience.)

I get my shoes home, take a shower, and head in to work where i pull out the black laces and try to start lacing.

All of a sudden, my plans come to a screeching halt. How the Hell do you lace these things? I got 14 eyelets and 2 laces for each shoe. It's not like shoes come with an instruction manual. so i go to the next best thing. The internet. Would you beleive that every picture of my shoes on the net are unlaced? Thats completely useless. So i start fidgeting around with the laces.

An Hour and a half later, i finally got both shoes laced up to my satisfaction, and looking pretty fly (at least for a white guy). Damn, it took for freakin' ever. Was it worth it? you betcha. But why on earth couldn't they have made it easier, or had instructions or something? ionno, whatever. I still can't believe it took an hour and a half....